Marriages

As a Forty Plusser, I am married for 22 years.  Good years.  Bad years.  Excellent years. Horrible years. Love & hate…  But still married. I decided that I want to live my life with my husband.  I decided to give it all!  I decided to keep up with stuff…  And yes, there are times that I want OUT!  Lol!!

Why do so many marriages fail? Is it even worth it to get married at all? As a Forty Plusser I think that failure to completely understand that all marriage require a full and total commitment to being honest &  faithful can be a reason for breakups.  Couples also have no room or tolerance for the indiscretions and that is  why so many marriages fail sadly way too soon and often in today’s society.

Lack of honesty – While this is obviously critically important, there are many other kinds of dishonesty that can destroy marriages. Honesty regarding things such as spending habits, internet relationships, and substance use or addiction can create cracks in a marriage that quickly become chasms.

Blame – sometimes we forget love should come first instead of right & wrong. Some things are definitely not worth the drama, stress & arguments.

Secrets ,lies, cheating, selfishness, no communication, boredom, no spirituality, no real knowledge of what commitment of their vows mean…not enough affection on either side, not showing appreciation all play a roll in breaking up marriages.

Poor financial conditions also put strain on marriages. Sometimes there are some sort of  misunderstandings. I have seen people getting separated because of these qualities. Over and above I feel both the partners should save the marriage bond by balancing each others inabilities. 🙏🙏🙏

Other factors that can cause problems in your marriage is having no backbone and also lack of communication.  Or it can be another woman or man. In short, third party.  Kids from a previous marriage can also put a lot of pressure on a marriage. Cheating in all forms, lies, secrets, two faced, disrespect, abuse, wandering eyes, always walking on eggs shells & ending in arguments, the EX, manipulation, control, words, THEIR friends, phones, websites, pictures, internet, substance abuse, …….and SO MUCH MORE

Giving up too easily –  I’m not saying everything is forgivable but people throw in the towel too easily. Don’t walk in saying “If it doesn’t work I can always get a divorce.” My husband and I have endured more than most couples and have worked our way through a lot in our 22 years. Be determined to give it your all, your best shot. The best advice I was given when my husband and I were having a hard time early on was from my already divorced friend. He said “Divorce can wait. Exhaust all options when it comes to working things out. Never be in a hurry to call it quits. You can always get divorced later, but put that option on the back burner and do what you can to save your marriage if it’s in your heart to try.” He wasn’t wrong. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Make sure that your friendship is solid. Friends will forgive each other when lovers wouldn’t so make sure your friendship is strong. Learn how to fight constructively not destructively. Just because you’re invited to a fight doesn’t mean you have to participate. Listen. Make sure to make time for sex, it keeps you close. Wait, what were we talking about?😂 You get the point 😉

Categories Hope, Life lesson, MarriageTags , ,

3 thoughts on “Marriages

  1. I like your phrase where you said “just because you were invited to the fight doesn’t mean you have to join” that is so true! I’ve only been married 5 years but we been together 10 years and I’m still learning but one thing I’ve been doing is choosing my battles lol. If it won’t matter in 5 years, there’s no point in entertaining the argument. Thankfully we were able to build a friendship first so that makes things so much easier! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The images on the background blur the font in the blog, making it almost impossible to read. Pls. check to see if you can replace it with another WordPress for a better reading experience.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for letting me know. Will check it out!

      Liked by 2 people

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