As a Forty Plusser I know that life is not always a fairytale. Their will come times when you are pushed over the edge and reach the end of your patience!
When you were a child you believed in fairy tales. Fairyland – this place where you find princesses, princess, dwarfs, frogs that turn into princes, fairies, magical creatures, nasty witches and dragons. Fairyland is all about happy endings. Prince charming will always save the princess from the claws of the evil dragon or witch.
In real life Fairyland and fairy tales does not exist. But dragons and witches do exist. Really evil dragons. I know that. If you are unfortunate to deal with a narcissist on a daily basis you know that your peaceful existence can be turned into a living hell. For me, a narcissist is the personification of the devil himself. Luckily there are moments, sometimes hours – and, if you’re really lucky, full days – where everything feels just right. Other times you begin to question your own sanity? What is this narcissist doing to me?
The term comes from a character in Greek mythology, called Narcissus.
A narcissist does not have amnesia:
First of all. Hear me out. I know this for a fact! Let I make it totally clear: A narcissist does not have a conscience. Also, NO AMNESIA AT ALL – He knows exactly what he is doing to you. I often wonder if narcissists sleep at night or are they constantly planning to destroy your life? They are experts in mind games. Malicious and vindictive. They will stalk you on social media blackmail you, badmouth you. Yes they will stalk your Facebook, whatsapp statuses, even your blogs!! A narcissist will always try to find a way back into your life! They will crush your soul!
A narcissist can be male or female. Admittedly, freeing yourself from their manipulative grip is difficult when they’re your spouse, parent, child, boss, or business partner. They will do anything in their power to make you have a nervous breakdown. Narcissistic abused victims may even want to commit suicide. Narcissists MUST win. THEY WILL NEVER STOP UNLESS YOU STOP HAVING CONTACT WITH THEM.
Narcissists suffer from early childhood development trauma. Rejection in childhood can lead to narcissism in adulthood. Like a child they recreate reality to suit their fantasy about themselves and the world around them.
Secrets: Never ever tell your secrets to a narcissist. They will act like they are sincere but believe me, they WILL use it for blackmailing purposes in the future. BEWARE!
Arguments: If I can make a suggestion. Dont take part!! Wanting to get into heated arguments with a narcissist is like dancing with the devil himself. You are not as evil, so it is difficult for you as a normal human being to fully understand such wickedness. I would suggest to ignore him if possible. Why am I saying this: Because everything you do or say during this argument can and will be used against you!
Accusation: Yes, they will accuse you of things you did not do and the sad part is that you have to prove the accusations wrong. When you proved them wrong they will throw another accusation, etc. vicious circle. This gets really tiring on you.
Bad mouthing: O, they talk in circles! They will triangulate saying that the whole office, town, school and people of your church talked shit about you and hate you. Not TRUE!
Lies: Lying comes naturally. They believe themselves. Don’t get caught up. They are so convincing that some people may fall for their lies. They distort facts!!
Fake friendliness: The friendliness of a narcissist is often focused on people with status (or suspected status), high-placed individuals en very often only publicly displayed. A narcissistic personality can not be unfriendly in public when his image is at stake.
Narcissist as a friend: Stay away! A narcissist will use you as a disciple to admire them. It is never about you. It is always about them. And don’t try to leave his circle… you will be hunted down.
So here are some more characteristics.
- Fantasizing about their own intelligence, success, power, and appearance
- An ability to take advantage of others to achieve a goal, without regret or conscience
- A lack empathy, or ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and a tendency to disregard others’ feelings
- Whatever they crave or yearn for must be “the best”. Always “Bling bling”
- Narcissists take everything so personally because underneath their grandiose bravado lurks profound self-loathing—they need to be shored up by constant external praise
- Narcissists have a tendency to deny things they said, or claim they said something else. They rewrite history. FOR SURE!!!
- Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- believes that others are envious of him or her
- Narcissists always start drama. Drama is part of a narcissist’s DNA!
- Because they can’t stand it to see other people’s happiness they will intentionally try to destroy friendships and marriages with their make-believe lies
Easier said than done: If I can make a suggestion. Yes I know that you want him to pay for how he wronged you. I bet you want to punch him on the nose. Yes I know you want to reveal him for what he truly is. PLEASE DON’T respond. That is part of a narcissist’s tactic of the never-ending mind games. Avoid a narcissist and ignore him if possible.
Overcoming narcissistic abuse: I honestly don’t know if you can fully recover… Try not to respond to that provoking whatsapp or email messages. If you keep inviting him into your life by means of communication you will never get rid of this evil human being. You see, a narcissist need attention to thrive and when there is zero attention the narcissist becomes CRAZY!! Try to stay strong. You can not fight the devil.
Truly EVIL people don’t just hurt others. They take pride in the pain they cause & then try to blame their victims.