From my own experiences as a Forty Plusser, I realise that one of the biggest failures in life is not trying at all. Plain and simple: If you don’t try you have already failed!
In my twenties, I had many opportunities in front of me, but I messed basically every single one of them up, because I just didn’t believe that I would succeed. I wasted my chances. Big time. Some days I can’t seem to move past it and the ugly torturous face of failure pops up…. once again to let me know that I am a “failure”. I think of possibilities that slipped through my fingers… Well, I don’t like failure. Nobody does.
Failure is painful and humiliating. Failure is guaranteed in life, but each failure is a lesson for greatness. It falls upon you to get back after a setback. Getting back up is NEVER easy and sometimes you will need a helping hand.
At one point in my life a got totally depressed. Like down in the dumps lost… I didn’t even want to live anymore. Everything just got too much for me to handle. As a Forty Plusser I can tell you that failure is often heartbreaking and you will not get over it in a day. It takes time to heal emotionally. Take this tip from me – You cannot control life! I needed to teach myself to be happy during the worst times. Failures in life should not define you emotions. (Not easy!!). Yes, when you mess up in life, don’t get stuck in a pit of failure! You can’t change what has happened, but you can try again and again… this time better than the last.
There was a point in my life that the “what if’s” killed me… I needed to remind myself everyday that each time I hit an obstacle or even rockbottom, I will rise back again! Failure is just a delay in life, not a total defeat! So the best thing you can do is to learn from your past mistakes. Use your “screw up situations” as a motivation to try once again… etc. When you fail you need to make a conscious decision to be positive, rather than miserable. Always remember that a positive mindset will lead to positive results (easier said than done… but at least try!!).
When you fail in life, your natural instinct will be to beat yourself up… over and over again. Dwelling on you past mistakes and failures will only drain your energy. Once you accept this, life can get better and more hopeful. I absolutely love this quote: “Keep on going and chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down”. – Charles F. Kettering. Once you have failed at something, you need to figure out your next action.
Yes, I know that you want to wallow in sorrow… been there done that, got the t-shirt! If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit at home and think too much about it. Overthinking is a killer!!! It sounds all so easy… It is not!! As a Forty Plusser today I can say that failure is actually normal in life. Every successful person can tell you a bunch of times that they were in the same position. If I could raise after failure, then you can too! Another thing that I know now as a Forty Plusser is that failure is not limited to you only, but to everyone. When you fail in life, it often feels like the world is conspiring against you. You feel worthless.
As a Forty Plusser I know that failure is inevitable and whether or not you remain in a position of failure depends on you.
Right, so what do I do after each failure? Let’s be honest. I am only human! I sit and mop, I cry, I hate myself, I pitty myself… the list goes on. BUT THEN I try to press forward, because life must go on. I am kind of lucky… I have a few mentors in my life that encourage me every time to get back up again. That really helps a lot. I have bipolar and I fail a lot! Believe me… I sometime fail as a wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter. BUT I ALSO SUCCEED!!! Remember to learn from each failure instead of dwelling on any mistakes that have lead up to it! I know, failure is painful, rough and tough. We often forget that failure is part of success and continuous improvement. It’s therefore crucial to take a step back and look at it from a different point.
Life is a roller coaster, sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. Please remember that failure is not permanent. Take time to heal. Take time to find confidence to move forward and hopefully come back stronger.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston S. Churchill
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”
― Joel Osteen,