The other night I was attending my husband’s 30th year matric reunion. Yes, we as “40 Plussers” went to school – long time ago…. You gotta love reunions. Or HATE it. Whichever suits you best!
I can say this for certain. The thing with every school reunion is the following: The menu has changed a lot since highschool days. You know, the “Prime Steak Gang”isn’t so popular anymore. Plus – you do not need to be a straight A student to have a fulfilling life! The underdogs are now stealing THEIR limelight. The sexy ones are now the “fat, ugly ”ones. Not everyone, but you get the picture!! Some wisdom: Bodies change over the years so you soon come to the conclusion that you have to love the personality and not the body! I hope. The ebb and flow of life as we know it! Totally true…
You realise that people on their 30th year matric reunion has experienced life in so many ways. They found the love of their life, or not. They are happily married, divorced or still single. They had some accomplishments in life or maybe some failures. Yes, some of your decisions resulted in spiritual seeds sown that produced regret. Whatever. Life continiously deals his deck of cards and not always according to YOUR CHOICE.
At first the conversations was about funny things that happened in highschool. The most hilarious topic on this specific reunion was about the outfits they wore to the matric farewell dance. Yes, clothing fashions has changed a lot over the years! Also – positive or negative – Teachers left their mark on each pupil.
But soon this matric reunion sort of turned into a free “visit to a pscychologist”. Yes, everybody was now talking about LIFE. Their life. Their life experiences. Suddenly you realise that every person has a “situation”and yes, you can relate to it. Absolutely. How many of you can relate… Working full-time, getting home, cooking dinner, kids, sleep, getting up, dress for work, always tired! The typical rat race.
We were all sitting, joking about our marriage, kids, previous relationships. Moaning. Complaining. Bragging. Maybe pretending.
How many times do you think… I regret that I ever got married, instead of being grateful that you have a spouse. The children are driving me crazy! Instead of being thankful that you are blessed to have children. I hate my job, instead of beiing happy that you are not unemployed. We are taking life for granted!
The married couples all shared the same storyline. Kids are spreading their wings, leaving home . Kids are studying at some university, or working or traveling the world. Point is: You and your husband are now “just the two of us“. Just like when you got married many moons ago. Big difference…. You are a bit less energetic. When your kids were still under your roof you had to cook, help maybe lend a hand with homework. Now just nothing. So now it’s “just the two of us”.
So how do couples adapt to this lifestyle? Eating habits change. On Sundays my husband cooks potjiekos. That’s our food until we braai again on Wednesday evenings. Sometimes a meal in the evening can consist of only a bag of Salt&Vinegar Simba chips! It is just too must effort to cook for 2 people. So. What do our evenings consist of? Watching your favorite soaps. Around nine o clock your off to bed and into dreamland.
So what do couples like us do for fun? That actually depends on what you did together as a married couple over the years. Many times couples now realise that they totally drifted apart and has nothing in common anymore. I think this is one of the reasons many couples get divorced. They become strangers.
Evenings can become really boring. So, my husband and I make this “date for a week evenings”. Okay, actually only FOUR evenings… On Monday a game of squash, Tuesday braai with friends, Wednesday we have a dinner date at a restaurant, Thursday go to the local bar to play a game of pool like the “good old days”. It is great!!
Now here is the catch: We are really tired after a week like this. We definitely don’t do this on a regular basis! Are we getting old???
I wonder what the next reunion will be like……..
“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.