It hurts! I struggle to cope…

As a Forty Plusser there are days that I really struggle to cope.  I am fighting this monster… a mental torture…    I have this feeling of absolute despair.   There are times that I just want to give up.  Fed up. I just don’t want to try anymore.  At times like these I fail to complete even the simplest tasks.   There are days that I truly wonder why the wicked curveball of life focuses on certain people more than other’s?  Yes, I have fallen into a whirlpool of confusion… thrashing through quicksand.   On days like these I cannot see a way out.  I am not playing the “sympathy card”.  No, I just feel down…almost doomed. I am overwhelmed…

I am petrified with despair and struggle to deal with my daily routines like enjoying my work, being a wife, being a mom and just all the other “normal stuff”.   Am I crazy to be obsessed with all the wrong things in life?   Why would I be asking all this unanswerable questions?  I know that a negative mind is the devil’s playground…  There are days that I experience a loss of purpose.   It feels if life is sucking up all my positivity and leaves a vacuum of anxiety.  Life is torturing me … It is an agonizing feeling and I want out!

One of my biggest mistakes, is that I tend to look backwards at my life too often…

   Image result for image of broken compass

What to do, what to do??? Stumbling blocks that hold us back in life are often because we get in our own way.  Our minds can create a prison of continued daily suffering for ourselves – try to stop focusing on your problems.  Easier sad than done… I find it real hard to adapt to certain circumstances in my life in order to make progress.

What to do, what to do??? I am not brain-dead and I know that I must try my best to chin up!  We all have our ups and downs, but there are people who really have it more easy than other’s in life.   But the show must go on.   One step at a time.  Break the pattern and take time to reflect on what you truly want out of life.  We all live with some uncertainty about the future and only you can change your response to it.  Life is not always about you – reach out to other people.

Wisdom:  “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”

Image result for inspirational quotes about despair



6 thoughts on “It hurts! I struggle to cope…

  1. Hang in there, my friend! We all have days like that, where our mind continues to review our past mistakes. Pick yourself up, know that there ARE people to encourage you and look FORWARD! You got this!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I can relate so much. Find the hope somedays it’s all we have

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great post. I spent the better part of the last 5 yrs in a depression. I finally was able to come out of it 4 months ago. I took a look at who/what was good/bad in my life. I got rid of the bad and built on the good and not only have I been stable since Oct, I’ve been actually happy since Nov. 👍

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You are not alone. I’ll be knocking on 50’s door before I know it, and I have plenty of moments like this. It’s going to be ok. Just don’t allow yourself to get sucked into it. Acknowledge how you feel and let it go. Letting go is the hardest part.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Stay strong. Stop looking backwards as much and look forward! Imagine yourself 2 months, 6 months and a year from now. What will have changed? What positive and happy things have happened?

    Liked by 3 people

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