As a Forty Plusser I want to ask you this one question: Do you feel that your emotional baggage of your past sometimes kind of “creeps up” on you?
I must be honest that I occasionally find myself in a situation that I act over dramatically in a certain kind of way. I snap at a person for no apparent reason. Afterwards I wonder: “Jee whiz“woman, why did you handle the situation “that”way? The only explanation I can think of is that my subconscious triggers and influence the way I negatively think and respond because of some past emotional baggage that I maybe haven’t dealt with?
You have to get over it, but how? How can you unload your emotional baggage? I don’t have the answer. Your thoughts can become your master. Emotional baggage plays a big role on how we think and the actions we take now. These underlying feelings can own us if we only concentrate on the negative sides of our lives. Emotional baggage can clog your mind with negativity. Here’s the thing. If you don’t get over your past you will not be able to appreciate the beautiful things in life. Letting go of your emotional baggage is always worth it!
I am in my forties. I am more mature. I have dealt with most of my past. But there are also days that my I wonder “how did I end up like this?”. Every single person on earth has pain. Emotional pain is part of what makes us who we are. There is an issue regarding a person’s past – Your past can affect how you act on a daily basis.
Do you know why everybody around you tells you to forgive and forget? It is simple: If you can’t let go of your past experiences you will be unable to move on in life.
Here’s my list of emotional baggage that I had/have to unpack!
- Guilt – Why do we hang onto guilt? It is a form of self punishment. I needed to forgive myself and seek forgiveness from those I have wronged. To overcome guilt I had to think “more of myself”. When you feel guilty you see yourself as a bad person. The truth is that I also did good things in life and I do have personality traits I am proud of.
- Habits – When habits are rooted in deep hurts and fears, it can really take a long time to change these habits. In order to change my negative habits I really try to practice patience and mindfulness. I am not a perfect person and I am a “constant work in progress”. Emotional baggage needs to be acknowledged and gently released to help you let go of your negative thoughts. My spiritual values also helps me to change my habits.
- Communicating – Have you ever noticed that you treat a person that talks to you badly, simply because they remind you of a person who had hurt you in the past? Even the words that other people speak can trigger something from your past…
- Forgiveness – To let go of the resentment, bitterness and pain I felt with having an alcoholic father, I had to forgive him. Yes, I had forgive him, because these past painful experiences just formed unhealthy patterns that keeps repeating itself all over and over again. I had to accept that not every person that drinks is bad or would turn out to become an alcoholic. I also needed to let go of this emotional baggage because it started to destroy myself and people around me.
- Self-love – There are days that I really struggle to love myself! Is this maybe a sign that I had not let go of all my emotional baggage? I know that I need to clear my heart, mind and soul of all hatred to be set free to love myself again. I tend to judge myself quite harshly. It’s a fact that too much self-criticism leads us to focus on our so-called failures instead of ways that we could improve.
- Anger – The only person affected by your anger is you! If the person that wronged you won’t ask for forgiveness it is their problem and not yours. Don’t hang onto anger. If a person asks for forgiveness, just give it!
Please tell me:
What practices would you suggest to let go of your past hurts and emotions?
Wisdom: “Each of us carries baggage around with us. Every now and then we drop of a piece and move on. At other times we just pick up more baggage, but don’t move on.
Anyway we look at it, we are all porters in life’s hotel.”