Childhood trauma

As a Forty Plusser my mind is filled with flashbacks of my childhood years.   Wish I could just totally forget some of the memories…  I am a living example that childhood trauma can have a lifelong effect.  As a human being, I am not made out of stone.

I experienced trauma such as substance abuse, emotional abuse and poverty.  As an adult I try to avoid anything that reminds me of that trauma.   Not always a healthy thing to do.  I know that a person cannot escape the reality of life’s challenges.   There was a point in my life that I became “passive”.  I knew what I needed to do in life, but I just could not do it!!  It took me years to “find myself”again.  It was a long long road to recovery, but I did it!! Image result for image of traumatic childhood events

I choose to see myself as a survivor and not a victim: My biggest childhood trauma was having an alcoholic father.  How many nights I cried myself to sleep when my alcoholic father crushed my soul.  I felt totally trapped and choice-less.  As a child I felt disempowered. Life goes on.  As an adult I know that we have the “power of choice”.   I choose not to be a victim of his alcoholism.  We don’t have to remain victims as adults.

Anger:  As a child I buried my feelings of anger.  I did not understand that anger is a natural human feeling.  Point is: If you do not deal with your anger and try to resolve what triggered it, you will stay angry!   So what is the point of not dealing with anger?   Deal with it! Point.  I know that if we “don’t feel our feelings”we hold ourselves back.

Image result for image of traumatic childhood events

Today, as a Forty Plusser, I have unexplained anxiety, and I think that it is my subconscious that “replays” my negative traumatic childhood’s years…

I had all the following PTSD signs: Fear, depression, anxiety, anger, poor self-esteem.

As a Forty Plusser I can tell you that trauma does not merely miraculously STOP once you become an adult.  My childhood trauma left fingerprints on me.  If I can give advice to myself:  You have to deal with your feelings other wise you will bury who you are!

Image result for image of trauma







38 thoughts on “Childhood trauma

  1. This post brings to mind a lot of my own childhood memories. But you are right, we never fully recover, we just learn to cope. Beautiful writing style by the way :))

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes John. We will never fully “escape”. Thanks for commenting.


  2. Well apprehended post to be understood for a better growth and transition from childhood to adulthood.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for commenting myexpressionofthoughtsblog!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure and you can call me tanvir 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post. Congrats on choosing to be a survivor instead of a victim! You should be proud of that!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wonderful post. You are a survivor!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So true and thank you for sharing this! That is part of the healing and moving forward with your life-sharing your story. We all have baggage from our past-some heavier than others, but in order to move onwards and upwards we have to forgive, BUT not forget, make peace with what happened or acknowledge it and as a child-it was not your or any other child’s fault. The support that exists today did not exist when we were kids.
    Times have changed.
    Very brave to share your past…..

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Your welcome I hope?? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for sharing, as someone who had a rough childhood as well, much of what you said resonated with me. I totally get what you mean with the anger thing, I am still passive almost to a fault in some aspects of my life but in other areas I’m steadfast . I avoid any kind of conflict like the plague. Keep on surviving ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your comment Stella 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You have a gift. You are a writer. And you are helping people by sharing your gift and sharing your experience. I haven’t gone through what you have, but I feel the emotions behind your writing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really appreciate your comment healthhotspot9.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. It can be so difficult to deal with all those pains, fears, anxieties which are a result of childhood trauma. I understand as I have been there too. Thank you for sharing with us.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. ☺☺

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Trauma follows you wherever you go! I’m glad you shared your story! Hugs. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The way you write about this shows your strength, and it’s great that you are taking this on. I hope you continue to succeed.


  11. Not sure whether clicking ‘like’ made sense. I wish there was a ‘thank you for sharing’ button. x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So sorry to hear!! My heart goes out to you!!


  12. Thank you for your courage in sharing with us things so private and powerful and for liking a “clean” post. Be well! Love!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Your post and these comments have helped me try to see my trauma in another way. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am really glad that my story inspired you🌺 I don’t know what trauma you have experienced and wish you well on your road to recovery. It is never easy. Big hugs and thinking of you🌼💖

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I Am the same way, and I am just starting to deal with it no, much love ❤


    1. Thanks for stopping by Colleen. Strongs 💖🌹💕🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s great to meet another trauma survivor. Thank you. I started my own blog recently to focus on my recovery

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry to hear about your trama💖 I will definitely visit your blog. Strongs💝

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Survivors, who have recognized and addressed their abuse, no longer playing victim, are some of the most beautiful people in the world. I am an abuse survivor too. As a kid and young adult, my grandmother (who raised me) took in my uncle who had a problem with alcohol. He verbally abused me on a regular basis and also hit me. Once, when I was a teen, I was so hurt by his verbal abuse, I walked out during dinner. I took a walk to the railroad tracks and met some cute boys who got me started on liquor. I was only 15. I went back to the tracks a few days later and was “date raped.” All these years I blamed myself. I’ve finally come to terms that it wasn’t my fault. I was just in an unfortunate situation. This is the first time I’m writing about this publicly, and may even consider writing a book about it. By expressing our hurts, we grow, and even better — we help others. God bless you for sharing your experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. O my Dear Maryanne!! I am so so sorry to hear about your terrible ordeal!!! It is hard to find the right words… You are so brave to share this!! I truly hope that the rapists had been brought to justice!! You are a true inspiration! Writing a book is a good idea!


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