Am I losing my mind

As a Forty Plusser woman I don’t want to socialize that often anymore. It may sound super boring, but I rather prefer my own company. (That is one of the reasons I have started blogging). When I get home from a tough day at work I only want to chill. I want silence. I want that relaxed feeling of “home is where no bra is”feeling.

But sometimes being all by myself jumpstarts my “midlife crisis syndrome”. You can easily get overwhelmed with intense self-pity. This constant psychological emotional battle inside yourself. I find comfort in the fact that there are more woman out there experiencing this phase in their life. I’ve talked to many of my female Forty Plusser friends. We all kind of have the same story to tell.
Do you have this nagging feeling that something in your life has slipped away — yet you can’t quite put your finger on what that “thing” is. It’s like a missing link. Maybe you’ve drawn some significant conclusions about the state of your life, like perhaps that your marriage isn’t as romantic as you had hoped or your career is no longer fulfilling. Your kids don’t appreciate you.
In fact you feel like nobody even notice your existence. You feel like running away and starting a new life in some far away place where you can remain anonymous. You also compare yourself more to other succesful people and you start feeling regretful of dreams you did not pursue.
You start to have more questions than answers.
* Why I am doing this?
You come to the conclusion that you don’t enjoy doing things. You start to feel that you have to endure life. Keep going like an automated robot…
* What is the real point of me?
Everyday you wonder if this is all there is to life? You don’t know yourself anymore. It is just this constant feeling that you are not content with life. I am getting old now.
* Your general practisioner (GP).
You find yourself constantly searching “dr Google“to diagnose your “illness”.
* Am I losing my mind
Your whole mindset is negative. Feelings of pessimism or hopelessness. Restlessness, anxiety or irritability.
* You seek excitement
You really crave and need more excitement. So, you join “groups” with the idea of experiencing more exitement in life. Starting gym sessions, buying a new bicycle, jogging like crazy. You get the picture? But your body isn’t prepared for this. So you end up, disappointed with some sport energy. Now you find yourself even more miserable.
* You become “jealous” of the younger generation
Those in their youth see the future in a more optimistic way, and that’s something we need to be deliberate about in midlife. Sounds easy?
* You worry about everything
When you are young you think you’ll live forever. But suddenly you are completely terrified about the future. What would the future be for my children if I were to die? Will I be able to retire or will I become a financial burden.
But we as Forty Plussers just know stuff: Life has taught us a few lessons.

Wisdom: There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.
Wisdom Quote: “Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”
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8 thoughts on “Am I losing my mind

  1. What a lovely post. I got stuck in a cycling of negative thinking, feeling lost and alone. Until I decided to be grateful for all I’ve experienced, for all I have, for all that’s still to come. 😁

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Lorraine. What you are saying is very very true!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Great post.
    Falling down is a part of life, getting up is living – so very true.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Interesting post! I think I was too busy in my forties to recall this, then there was the divorce, etc. Maybe those things delayed this time of questioning which came on strong in my early 50s. I’ve often felt that menopause (and perimenopause in the 40s) with all the “Who Am I?” questions, is like another adolescence but with more wisdom. Now that I’m retired, I love being home alone. My high school girlfriends say the same thing. Relationships are more about quality and I’m letting go of the ones that add stress to my life. That’s wisdom I’m thankful for! Yes there is some anxiety, (more time to worry?) but wisdom pulls us back to gratitude.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So totally with you on this although I’m a decade ahead and out last kiddo just went off to college. Love the quote by Mother Theresa. I will remind myself today that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Cute Not Psycho Sep 7, 2018 — 7:21 pm

    Hiya. You’ve recently started following my blog. I just wanted to say thank you. You’re my first follower 🙂 x x x

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m a 30 something male, but a lot of this resonates with me as well. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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